HORSEMAN'S DEFINITIONS

(From Aug. 2000 City + Country Pets)

Feed: Expensive substance utilized in the manufacture of large quantities of manure.

Fences: Decorative perimeter structures built to give a horse something to chew on, scratch against

or jump over.

Flies: The excuse of choice a horse uses so he/she can kick you, buck you off or knock you over.  He/she cannot be punished!

Founder: The discovery of your loose mare - some miles from your farm - usually in a flower bed or cornfield.  Used like, "Hey, honey, I found'er!"

Gallop: The customary gait a horse chooses when returning to the barn.

Gate: Wooden or metal structure built to amuse horses.

Hay: Green, itchy material that collects between layers of clothing, especially in unmentionable places.

Hobbles: Describes the walking gait of a horse owner after his/her foot has been stepped on by his/

her horse.

Saddle: An expensive leather contraption manu-

factured to give the rider a false sense of security.  Comes

in many styles, all feature built-in ejector seats.

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